Sensitive me

The Normality of Anxiety Attacks

I LOVE this article. Anxiety is so unfortunately misunderstood and misinterpreted, not to mention over-dramatized therefore cheapened and viewed as a weakness. A few of you know, a majority of you do not know, the struggles I have with anxiety. The cause of anxiety is of course relative to the person, their experiences in and throughout their life, and is something we are all subject to. 

I am a hypersensitive individual, which has resulted in anxiety that can at times become exacerbated by a seemingly regular day-to-day experience. As a kid and teenager having nowhere near the emotional awareness I have now, was crippling, especially during a few very specific moments way back when.

I tried as best I could to shun this part of myself, but let's be real, those of you who really do know me are aware of the difficulty I have hiding my emotions and the accompanied angst. I have come incredibly far in gaining self-awareness and self-acceptance to maintain a degree of control, but there are times where it's just impossible. 

Being sensitive is simply who I am. I cannot even begin to tell you the absolute lack of understanding from strangers to friends to even family members who have said I am "too sensitive." Those who have said it do not know my story. Accepting my hypersensitivity has made me more human, not to mention, a better human. It is the exact reason behind the passions I pursue and the purpose I seek in life. 

I can only speak for myself in that I won't even begin to presume I know what is actually going on in someone else's mind or life. We all judge and we are all assholes from time to time, myself included. The point is to gain enough self-awareness to catch yourself in a moment of judgement or when you're being an asshole. For the capable, it doesn't take much to pause and think how to phrase that comment, opinion, or assumption, because the fact is, perception is everything. The receiver must also be willing to defend their dignity, though for someone with anxiety, it takes more effort and strength. 

Do I see anxiety as a weakness? Only when I've allowed it to define who I am, which admittedly, I have moments where it can still overpower me. Resilience is the key. The ongoing effort to break this cycle has been life altering and the moments of clarity have been truly fascinating. The good far outweighs the bad, because while some moments are more intense than others, it drives me to continue owning my life and how I need to live it in order to be happy. Happiness, after all, is the collective underlying goal we all strive for.